Make no Miss-take

You always learn by trial and error, they say ��� by ���hits and Mrs...��� And that���s how the world and its women are figuring their way around girls��� ���independence��� in a more equal world.
Which is why the European Union parliament recently banned the use of terms like ���Mrs��� and ���Miss��� for female MEPs (Members of European Parliament).
Clearly, while ���Mr���, for men seems footloose and fancy-free, for women, the distinction between married and single is clearly laid out with ���Mrs��� and ���Miss���. And when it���s ���official���, many sit up and take notice, even if only to wonder how the EU parliament found time for such ���trivialities���.
Struan Stevenson, a Scottish MEP, described the new ���gender-neutral language��� guidelines rather colourfully as ���political correctness gone mad.��� But women professionals, both married and unmarried, seem to think there���s more to it than that.
Wordy Battle
Theatre personality Neelam Man Singh Chowdhry says that while ���Mr��� simply connotes a person���s gender, ���Miss��� and ���Mrs��� do seem to suggest a certain gender politics. ���When you say you are Mrs So & So at a public forum, you bring a part of your personal life to the table,��� she says. Even ���Miss��� has an affectation to it, she frowns. ���I���m not 100 per cent comfortable with either term,��� she adds.
Something���s still Miss-ing
Says Minati Dash, a communication consultant, terms like ���Miss��� and ���Mrs��� are definitely sexist, as they indicate a woman���s marital status, unlike ���Mr���, which keeps it all quiet. The 30-year-old, who would rather go with ���Miss���, she says. Minati, who has kept her maiden surname because that���s part of her ���identity,��� reasons, ���Women didn���t have any role in the development of English or for that matter any language, so we find the female perspective missing.��� However, change is evident in small ways, as she points out that in many of the invitations that she gets, her name is prefixed with ���Miss���. ���So that���s a beginning, and it���s welcome,��� she smiles.
Saab kuch nahin chalta!
Though Shakuntala Doley Gamlin, an IAS officer of the UT cadre, is used to getting invitations that prefix her name with a ���Shrimati��� or ���Mrs���, she finds it hard to digest being called ���saab���. That feels ���as though you���ve grown a moustache!��� she laughs. Gender equality is about preserving your identity as well as your femininity, stresses Shakuntala.
Designer Rina Dhaka (her maiden name), who���s happy being ���Miss��� or just being addressed by her name, says, ���India has a combination of old and new sensibilities. In certain places in the country, ���Miss��� would even be offensive. So if I���m in Varanasi or the Rajasthan heartland, I wouldn���t be trying to prove a point.���
Be a lady
If there are women who���d rather go with ���Miss���, there are others who don���t shy away from the ���Mrs��� tag either. Emcee Ramneek Pantal says that being ���Miss��� or ���Mrs��� is part of who you are. Where���s the harm in using ���ladylike��� terms, like ���actress��� over ���actor���, she asks. And if you thought that women use ���Mrs��� to escape unwanted male attention, then that���s not true, as Ramneek says, ���In the circles we move about, we don���t have to contend with such things.���
pratibha.garg@timesgroup.com